Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
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