I heard we made out
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
We talked him into tasing himself.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
