Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize