I think my fart just growled at me.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
