It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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