no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize