Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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