we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Randomize
