The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Sacagawea was the original milf.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
