and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
