I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
