It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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