? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Acid is not a monday night drug
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
