So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
