can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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