You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I just found puke in my bra..
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
