I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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