sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
