college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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