Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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