He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
