OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
