How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
