walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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