Say something about gay babies.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
