nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
