I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
