I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
whose parrot is this?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
