come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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