Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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