She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
