I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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