you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
