My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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