whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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