I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
