If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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