i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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