Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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