I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
