This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
