He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
