So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Randomize
