areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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