no, he came in my armpit
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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