you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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