Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
