I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I bet he comes in French.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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