HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
