Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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