Your tits are I can't wait for
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
