Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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