Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
