Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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