Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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