Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
We need to get me chipped asap
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
