They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
