I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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