yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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