so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
