His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
