I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
