I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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