Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
