need another drink. this is the easiest way
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize