I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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