Don't you send me to vm
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize