just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
