He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
