Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize