Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Boobs are out for the taking
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
