Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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