Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Couch. On fire.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
