I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Randomize