Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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