A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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