Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
My dick has a subreddit
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I know her cup size but not her name....
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